The Undertow

"We see the undertow and we say..."

Finding Dory is currently in HEAVY rotation at our house, so this little rhyme is one of our favorites.  In the movie, a baby Dory finishes the rhyme "let's go" when it should be "Heck No!".  As Bug and I were quoting these lines today it struck me that this is true about real life. And I don't mean the undertow in the ocean. 

No, my friends, I mean the undertow(s) of life. The undercurrents that pull us away from where we're supposed to be.  The undertow of unhappiness, laziness, anger, gossip and more. It's different for everyone, everyone has something they are fighting and everyone has a different level of resistance to the undertow. And the undertow can grab us and pull us away faster than we can imagine.  In the movie Dory is trying to do something sweet for her mom when she gets sucked into the undertow, separating her from her parents. It happens in a flash.

Sigh...Sound familiar?? 

How many times do we think we're doing the right thing, only to look up and realize that we've been pulled away from our Heavenly Father? How many times do we get just a little too close to the ways of the world and get swept so far away that the journey back seems impossible? 

It's not. Like Dory's parents, God is waiting for us to come back.  He places trails for us to follow back to Him and believes that the truths He placed in our hearts will lead us back to Him.  And just like  Dory's parents, God stays in the same place, waiting for us to come back to Him.  

When you feel the undertow of life starting to pull at your heart, remember "we see the undertow and we say 'Heck no!' " And if it's already pulled you away from where you're supposed to be, remember whose child you are and go find Him, He is always waiting.  Just follow the way back to Him that He has placed all around you. 

What I did Right Today

So today was the pits.  Seriously bad (minus dinner with friends and our new bed FINALLY getting here).  Bug woke up at 3 am, Bean had trouble listening, both girls had colds and neither girl took a nap, and on and on.  Add to all that the fact that I'm not feeling well and let's just say my patience was thin- and that's being generous.

After getting home from dinner at our friend's house and putting the girls to bed I decided to take a bath- yeah the day was that bad... As I sat there I started to reflect on my day all my regrets started to surface.  The times I snapped, the times I said "not right now" and the more I thought the worse I felt about how I'm doing as a mom.  Then another, different kind of thought came into my head.  It was almost like hearing a voice.  "What did I do RIGHT today?" And it stopped my self loathing dead in its tracks.  

So many times after the girls go to bed I review everything I did "wrong" that day, end up not liking myself very much and go to bed promising myself that I'll do better tomorrow.  But then morning comes and someone screams about, well, anything, someone is sick or something breaks.  I lose my temper and I feel guilty for failing so early in the day despite my promise to be "better".  This thinking taints my day and a lot of times sends it into a downward spiral.  Isn't there a better way?

I think so.  Tonight after I stopped thinking about the things I did wrong and focused on the things I did right I started to forget those things I did "wrong" and started to feel uplifted.  They weren't huge things- remember how I said today went? But they were good nonetheless.  Things like  "I fed the girls lunch- which even included fruits and veggies", or "I hugged and kissed both my girls more than once today" and when we went for dinner our girls were well behaved (at least I think so ;-) ).  How many kids don't get good meals regularly, or don't get any hugs or kisses, or  how many times do we think what we're trying to instill in our kids is falling on deaf ears? 

Sometimes trying to find the good things in your day is hard.  With the devil whispering in your ear, reminding you of all the times you've failed and the guilt consuming you, its hard.  But I challenge you to think of the good things you did today.  Even if its just one. Even if its simple. I think it will change the course of your thinking and give you a better outlook on tomorrow.  It worked for me tonight and the crazy thing is I can't wait until tomorrow night to look back on my day and search for the things I did right.  It encourages me to work hard to make that list long and gives me hope that no matter what comes tomorrow I will choose to find the good in the day rather than wallow in the guilt over what I've done wrong.  So I ask you, what did you do right today? 

Make love the final move

So when I started blogging again I renamed the blog "Love Has the Final Move".  I love this song, it gives me hope that some day love will have the final move, someday the pain of this world will end. Tonight however, I heard the song again and combined with the day I had and the place I'm at in my book that I'm reading (Intentional Parenting) I had another thought.  Some time we need to make love our final move.  

"What kind of story are you living in front of your children?"

This question has been following me around for the last few days. Its one of the thought provoking/ discussion/journaling questions in the first chapter of Intentional Parenting.  I know the answer.  That's not why its following me around, nagging at me, popping up when I don't want to be reminded of it.  Its because it seems to come up most often when I'm not living the story I want to live in front of the girls.  

To me the most important thing to teach our children is love.  I believe that love is the very core of who God is, and if we don't teach our children that we miss something huge.  But so many times I FAIL at living a story of love in front of our girls.

Let's be honest parents, how easy is it to lose our tempers with our children? I mean really, who likes to mop up pee off the bathroom floor everyday (or twice a day or sometimes even three times...) or wake up at 3 am to a screaming baby? But its what we do in those moments that teaches our children the most.  Ezekiel 20: 21-22 says " I seriously considered dumping my anger out on them, right there in the desert.  But I thought better of it and acted out of who I was a not by what I felt. (MSG) 

Now, please excuse my oversimplification and basic knowledge of the Israelites and their relationship with God but here it goes... If anyone "deserved" for God's anger to be dumped out on them, it was the Israelites.  They were God's chosen people.  He saved them, protected them, blessed them and STILL they turned from Him.  And yet God chose NOT to dump His anger on them, because it was not who He is.  He goes on to say that he chose not  to dump out His anger so that His name not be 

So many times we feel justified in our anger.  Sometimes people hurt us, are cruel and unfair or simply frustrating.  These things will happen, its not a matter of if, but when, and the really question is how will you respond? Will you respond out of how you feel or who you are?  I challenge you to make love your choice. When you're angry or frustrated or stressed, choose to live out a story of love.  Make love your final move.    

Turkey crafts Part 2!

Alright here are the rest of the crafts we made for Turkey day :-)

Craft 6:  Toilet Paper tube stamping turkey

So this is pretty easy.The only thing I would change is that I would have Bean stamp a whole piece of paper so the turkey could have a bigger tail.

Craft 7: Tissue paper feathered turkey 2

The hardest part about this was cutting out the feathers :-p  But Bean LOVED this (as evidenced by the pile of feathers her turkey has)   I just gave her glue in a cup with a paint brush and she brushed on glue and put on tissue paper.

Craft 8: Clothespin Feathered Turkey

This one turned out REALLY well!! I had clothespins laying around from hair clippy crafting, but if you don't a pack of about 50 is less than a buck at Wal-Mart.  And I just used cardboard from on the many boxes we have laying around. (So. much. moving. this. summer :-) )  I also had orange and yellow paint from another craft but like the red I had to purchase they are about .50 at Wal-Mart.  So I let Bean paint the clothespins and when they dried she pinned them onto her turkey- great fine motor practice!


Craft 9:  Painted plate turkey

So this guy got a little abstract too.  Bean was not getting the "paint one stripe of color then paint a different stripe of color direction".  She just sort of painted whatever color she wanted, wherever she wanted.  But I like him :-)

Craft 10: Sun catcher Turkey 


So I got the pattern for the turkey outline here: http://www.happyclippings.com/2013/11/diy-tissue-paper-stained-glass-turkeys-kids-craft.html.  You have to cut out the whole tail feather shape and then cut out and outline.  Then you just lay it on the sticky side of contact paper and let the children stick tissue paper inside the lines.  I think it might have been better if I had put the turkey body inside of the line and then let Bean put the tissue paper on.  That way you could see the outline for the tail feathers better.



So there you go! 10 turkey crafts for less than 30 bucks- which sounds like a lot but I didn't spend that all at once and I still have a TON of this stuff left for other crafts.  In addition to the supplies I bought I also had these supplies at home already:

• Paper plates - $1-2 
• yellow, orange and brown paint - $0.50 each so $1.50
• Clothespins - $1 
• Toothpicks- $1 
• Beads- $3-4 
• Huge pack of paper $7 

So in total these "cost" me 35ish bucks but I still have a lot of stuff left from these projects so I think that counts as less than 30 bucks :-) The initial cost can be daunting but to me its worth it to spend some time with your kids, especially one who LOVES crafts :-) Plus I usually pick crafts that she can do portions of with very little direction.  That way if I need to I can step away and trust that she can handle it.  

Keep an eye out of for our Christmas crafts! 

Turkey Crafts!!

So I've been doing a new thing lately- inspired some by another blog I follow and also born of a desire to be more present with my girls.  I know that I spend all day with them but I'm trying to be more present and more intentional about spending time with them.  So I've been picking crafts off my Pinterest boards and actually doing them with Lizzie ;-0 (What??? Actually do the things I have pinned to Pinterest??? Crazy talk.  But seriously?? I need to :-p )

So I'm going to share our experiences, what works and doesn't work, and about how much it cost us.  I was surprised how much cute stuff we made for so cheap and I think you will be too!  This post will be long since I wanted to break it into more parts and post but time got away from me and I want to start our Christmas craft blogs soon.  So I'll stuff these all into 1 and then do shorter posts for Christmas crafts. Or I might do each month in 1 post... who knows! I'm trying to make it through Christmas in 1 piece so I'm feeling fuzzy brained :-p

Here we go! So after I picked the crafts I wanted to do I made a list of the things I needed to finish them. So here's what I got:

I got: 

• Googly eyes
• 3 packages of tissue paper (red, orange and yellow)
• Finger paint
• Twisty noodles
• Red Paint
• Contact Paper
• Paint chips (FREE :-)) 

We ended up not using the paint chips or twisty noodles because... life happens but they weren't crazy expensive and noodle play is still fun any day. I spent 20 bucks for all this and we did not use all of it! We are using some of the paint, tissue paper and contact paper for this month's crafts. I'll also let you know what I had around the house and about how much it cost.  

Craft 1: Ring Feathered Turkey

So in posting this picture I see the fundamental mistake-  I did not cut the middle out of our plate, so Bean was able to stick her "feathers" anywhere... Still cute!   The hardest part was gluing the strips into rings.  It was good for her fine motor skills though as she had to pinch the ring to glue it.  We had paper plates and construction paper around the house for this craft. A pack of paper plates are about 1-2 bucks and I bought this HUGE pack of construction paper at Wal-Mart in the Back to School Section clearance for 7 bucks. I can't find a regular price for it but a normal pack of construction paper is 5 bucks.

Craft 2: Finger print feather turkey 

Super easy, but with a 3 year old not very accurate.  Maybe if she had seen an example??? Still cute though.

Craft 3 : Fine motor skills Bead Feather Turkey

OK, first of all the picture from Pinterest LIES!! The ball will not just sit there like that.  Hence the reason our turkey has legs :-)  This one was ok... Bean put on a couple beads and then lost interest and I had to convince her to finish it. Even with the legs it was super unstable.  I added hot glue to the top of the bead when she was done to keep them on.  We also painted the ball before adding the feathers.  We had tooth picks around the house ( a buck at Wal Mart), brown paint ( .50 at Walmart) and we always have bead lying around ( you can usually get them for about 3 bucks at Wal Mart).  

Craft 4:  Half paper plate tissue paper feathered turkey 

This one got a little abstract because I got distracted with Bug, but I like it! :-) I gave Bean a cup with glue in it and a paint brush ( I have since switched to glue sticks- easier and less clean up) and then she was to paint some glue on and stick on some tissue paper.  Since she was good with that I was feeding Bug in the other room, when I came back she had glued the eyes, gobbler, feet and beak where she saw fit.  Ah... crafts with 3 year olds :-)  We used a half a paper plate from our stack of plates in the pantry :-)

Craft 5: Turkey hat

So Bean just colored the "feathers" on this turkey. The rest was really simply (except now I can see that the legs needed to be glued on behind- oh well) but Bean won't wear the hat :-(  We used paper from the pack and the other half of the plate from the tissue paper turkey.


Alright I'm going to split this into 2 parts, so keep and eye out for part 2!

Leave the Rest

   

So the last few days have been stressville here in the Trotter household.  Its open enrollment for for insurance and we've been looking into a new health plan but its not working out the way we wanted. Basically, we're having trouble finding a company/plan that will cover Bean's MRIs.  I've run so many scenarios and and spent lots of time on the phone and tried desperately to patch together some kind of a plan.  I've done the best that I can but I'm worried that it might not be enough.  So what do you do after you've done your best and still can't fix the problem?

After a couple days of panicking and trying to plan, researching and scheming I was basically at my wit's end.  Nothing I could think of would guarantee coverage for these tests and then a weird thing started happening.  I started to hear God's voice telling me to trust.

At first I tried to brush it off, telling myself that  I was doing what was right by doing everything I could to get the coverage we need.  But then after a message at church about being thankful for what we have- even when those things are hard, I started listening to that voice.  It doesn't mean that we're thankful that the MRI costs that much and we can't get it covered.  Instead we should be thankful that our little girl can even get an MRI that helps maintain her condition.  So many other children can't even see a regular pediatrician, and our girl has regular, routine care to monitor something that a lot of children in this world don't even have time to consider since their concerns are more basic.  

Does this mean that  I let this all go? Throw up my hands and do nothing, trusting it all to God? Somehow I don't think that's the answer either.  I don' think that God gave us the capacity to think and solve problems for us to just say "I can't figure this out God! You do it!"  I think it needs to be a mixture of using the abilities that God has given us while also trusting Him with the situation.  That means also trusting that He will guide you in your decision making.  Trusting that He has given you the ability to figure some things out and that you can solve problems.  

But it also means knowing when to say " I've done the best that I can, and the rest is up to God".  Even as I write that I realize that this seems to be my struggle in life.  I am a problem solver, sometimes even to the determent of my emotional state.  I want to fix things and if I can't I can't function correctly.  I don't think its wrong to do the best that we can - God doesn't call us to be lumps who sit around expecting Him to do everything for us.  But he does expect us to trust Him as we make our decisions and to trust that He will care for us after we make the best choice that we can- even if the best choice still leaves us uneasy.  

So where are you tonight my friends? Struggling to make a choice? Scared to make a choice, a move in a specific direction? Or have you made a choice and are still uneasy about the outcome?  I pray that God brings you peace.  If you've done the best that you can- with God's guidance- then take a deep breath and rest in Him.    

Running out of Time

So, around this time 4 years ago Hubby and I made a BIG decision.  We decided to have a baby and about a month later we were staring at a positive pregnancy test. Gulp...  At that moment a countdown started in my head and heart.  As each of my girls achieve milestones and learn new skills I am keenly aware of how fast they are growing.  Time is flying past us and in the quiet moments when they are sleeping or with someone else I realize that we are running out of time with them.


I don't mean that in a depressing, scary kind of way.  I mean it in a "from the moment you find out you're having a baby, you have 9 months of pregnancy and 18 years that you are responsible for this human and their development" kind of way.

Parents,  we only get a limited amount of time with our kids.  Hopefully we get at least 18 years. Hopefully we get more than that.  Hopefully we get to have a good relationship with them after they turn 18 and leave our home.  The truth is though that not all of us will get all of those things.

So what does that mean for us parents? Does that mean that we need to run ourselves ragged trying to make every moment count? I don't think so.   Not every moment is to be enjoyed, I mean, really , who likes changing poopy diapers or listening to a screaming toddler? No one?? Parenting is hard and some days are just miserable.

What I am saying is that we do need to carve out time to make moments count.  I know that there is work to be done, but if we don't purposely make time to be present with our children, someday we will wake up and our kids will be grown and we won't even know them.

So take, no, MAKE some time to BE with your children.  Play a game with them, snuggle them, read a book with them and always give them hugs and kisses.  You never know exactly how much time you will have with your kids but every day that passes IS one less day.  Don't waste them.