8 Ways Gestational Diabetes Changed My Life

So after a rough couple of weeks (horrible migraines and feeling foggy because of the combination of headaches and the medicine I took to clear them up) I'm feeling much better and finally clearer :-) So now that I'm feeling better and Bean is still sleeping (she's got some nasty cold :-( ) I figured I would write a post since its been a while.

So last post  I wrote about Bean's story and I briefly mentioned that I developed gestational diabetes.  To be honest I didn't even really know about gestational diabetes.  When I was told about the test I was nervous because I knew that eating a lot of sugar without eating anything else I usually felt buzzy so I was afraid I would fail the test. And I did...  Then I had to take the awful 3 blood draw test, which I was sure was going to make me pass out- it didn't, and failed again.

I was devastated.  Pregnancy was supposed to be the time when I had a reason to eat what I wanted and it can be stressful and I stress eat :-) Thankfully once Lizzie was born the diabetes disappeared. But it was a real eye opener for me.  Here is what I learned about diabetes during those last few months.

8 Ways Gestational Diabetes Changed My Life

1. I realized that diabetes isn't a death sentence. ( Ok, I didn't think it was that bad but close)  I thought pricking your finger multiple times a day would be awful and that all you could eat was boring bland food.  I got better at pricking my finger but it was still awful. As for food I learned that you can eat more than bran muffins and drink water.

2.  I learned that not sweets aren't the only dangerous thing for a diabetic. When the nutritionist showed me a sample list of items and their sugar levels I was surprised that corn and pizza were so high.  I learned that some vegetables are extremely high in sugar and some are neutral.  

3.  I started reading labels.  I know what to look for, sugars and protein, and read items that I don't know the amounts.

4.  I learned to balance my meals/snacks. I learned that I can't eat just sugar or just protein.  I need protein to keep my sugar from spiking too high and sugar to keep it from dipping too low.  I also know which foods are neutral and I don't have to limit my intake of.

5.  I am actually am more careful about the way I eat sugar.  While I'm not still diabetic I think my body still processes sugar worse than other people.  I have to be careful about just eating sugary foods.  I need to balance it out with protein or wait until I've eaten something less sugary.

6.  I'm careful about the amount of sugar I feed Bean.  Bean doesn't have diabetes (as far as I can know) but I don't want her to experience low sugar levels or highs so I'm careful  how I feed her.  I balance out her sugar and protein just like I do to mine. Babies born to mothers with gestational diabetes also have an increased risk to develop diabetes and obesity.  I want her to learn to eat healthy now.

7.  I eat more cheese sticks.  Did you know that cheese is high in protein (but milk is high in sugar- go figure!) They are one of the best snack for me and Bean.  They are quick to eat and really portable and tasty.

8. I'm more at risk to develop gestational diabetes next time we have a baby and at a much higher risk to permanently develop normal diabetes later in life.  This makes me nervous.  Diabetes isn't fun.  I don't want to have it again or permanently.  2 out of 3 moms develop gestational diabetes again with their next pregnancies and over half of moms who have gestational diabetes develop type 2 diabetes within 10 years. This makes my lifestyle choices now more important.  I'm trying to be proactive about preventing diabetes instead of just reactive when it happens.  

So there it is.  How gestational diabetes changed me, for the better.  I'm hoping to avoid it it again in the future but genetics and statistics are not on my side.  But at least it motivates me to try to eat healthier.  Now I want some ice cream... ;-)  

Lizzie's Story

Most of you know that Lizzie's life has not been normal.  Well, normal for us but not easy.  We have been through a diagnosis of Hydrocephalus, a nervous last few months of pregnancy, 2 weeks in the NICU, multiple cranial ultra sounds and visits to the neurologist, life with a monitor, a surgery, post surgery visits and developmental and physical therapy.  Its been a crazy, scary, and amazing 2 years and which has given us a constant reminder of how amazing God is and what He can do.

For most of you this is just a reminder of how faithful God is and for others this is all new, but I just want to share this with you.

This is..

Lizzie's Story.

When we found out we were pregnant with Lizzie we were ecstatic! We hadn't been trying very long so we were happy that we didn't have any trouble or have to wait very long.  After about 12 weeks we told family and friends who were also excited for us and we anxiously awaited our little bundle of joy :-)

For the first 20 weeks it was a normal pregnancy, doctor's appointments once a month, normal testing and really no other symptoms than regular pregnancy stuff. In fact it was a pretty easy pregnancy, no severe nausea, food cravings or aversions and no extreme pain.  The only hiccup was being diagnosed with gestational diabetes.  But after seeing the nutritionist and diabetic counselor and reminding my self it was probably going to go away in a few months it really wasn't so bad.  Then we went in for our 20 week ultrasound and everything changed.

It was normal at first.  The tech measured Lizzie and fluids etc and then asked if we wanted to know the gender.  We said yes and found out we were having our little princess.  When we met with the doctor she told me my amniotic fluid was a little high and they wanted to check me again in a about a week.  Then we went back my fluid had gone back down but there was a problem with Bean's head.  The day is kind of fuzzy so I don't remember if it was the tech who told us or just the doctor. But we were told that there were dark spots on Bean's brain which indicated extra fluid on her brain.  We were told that she might need to be delivered early and via c-section to reduce the pressure on her brain and that she would most likely need a shunt to help her brain maintain the fluid level.  We were referred to a high risk doctor who had more advanced ultra sound equipment and experience. We were stunned and scared.  I was able to hold it together until I got in the car and then, I just lost it.  I couldn't believe what was happening and was terrified about what this meant for our little girl.  We were so blessed at this time to have such an outpouring of love and support and prayers.  I know this is the only way we were able to make it through what we were going through.  I can't imagine going through this without God and the support of all our friends and family and their friends who were praying for us.

So in June we met with the high risk doctor who started our appointment with " Tell me everything you found on the internet about this condition." I couldn't help but laugh and fell just a tiny bit better ( there are some scary things on the internet...)  The ultrasound revealed that Bean's fluid was mild and that she was still growing and developing correctly.  So the doctor informed us that as long as she flipped (haha) she could be born normally and on her own time.  I did however need to see him once a week until she was born. In Park Ridge.  An hour and a half from home. boo..  I also met with Dr. Ruge who would be her neurologist who basically told me the same things.  Funny thing is I never remember asking either doctor how this was caused.  They may have told me but I honestly don't remember. I just remember not asking.  I think I was too afraid that I had done something and knowing that would have been too much to handle at the time.

After that things calmed down.  I went in for stress tests once a week and a couple extra ultrasounds to check her fluid.  At 37 weeks she was measuring 9+ lbs so he decided to schedule her C-section- since she never flipped and we scheduled it for August 8th. On August 8th at a bout 7am we met our little girl for the first time and she was beautiful and big (9lbs 7 oz :-)) Everything went well but she was whisked away to the NICU and I was confined to bedrest for 8 hrs.  After a couple days I was discharged but Bean had to stay. Leaving that hospital without her was one of the hardest things I've ever done but I knew she was in good hands.

The next couple of weeks were a blur of doctors and days spent in the NICU.  At one point she was scheduled for the shunt surgery but right before they started they did one more scan and found her ventricles had gone down in size which meant they were draining fluid better.  So we cancelled the surgery.  We were told she would stay a few more days and then if her next ultra sound was good she could go home.  That was the longest day in the NICU.  Just waiting for them to come do the scan and then waiting for the results.  But finally she was clear! We got a monitor and monitor training and finally left the NICU.

But we weren't out of the woods yet.  We had to go for 3 more cranial ultrasounds and neurologist's visits, one a week later,one 2 weeks after that and the 3rd a month after that.  The first 2 were stable but not really improved.  Then the 3rd saw her ventricles increase in size and that made the neurologist nervous. So we had to schedule a shunt surgery.  Once again I was over whelmed.  I had thought we were going to get through without a surgery, but that was not it God's plan. So once again, I pretty much cried all the way home and spent the week scared.  But once again God gave us reassurance and blessed us with family and friend's support.

The surgery went well and we were in and out in less than 48 hours. Yay! After the surgery we were able to get rid of the monitor. Another yay! We had to go about 3 more times for post surgery visits and ended up in the ER once when the incision leaked (but were cleared a couple days later- without more surgery).  But since then life has felt more normal.  After while we got used to the shunt and less afraid of it being bumped. Bean had physical and development therapy for about 6 months after she was born to ensure that the Hydrocephalus didn't cause any delays but in November she was also cleared from that :-)

In October we went back to the neurologist for Bean's one year post surgery visit and she got an A+.  Now we don't have to go back until October of this year.  We'll do an MRI and a visit to make sure everything is working right.  At this visit I was finally able to ask what causes this disorder and what are chances of this happening again are.  Without judging why I was asking more than a year later the doctor simply answered " the chances of this happening again are the same as lightning striking the same place twice and there is nothing you can do to prevent it or cause it"  Even though I had made peace with our situation, this was so reassuring.

And that's Bean's story, long and complicated and stressful, but also uplifting and full of hope.  Lizzie is a constant reminder to me that God is bigger than anything we face.  Her situation also helped me realize that I need to rely on God more than my own strength.  In this situation there was nothing I could do and that's hard for me. But I have seen in Lizzie, what God can do and I know that it is better than anything I can achieve on my own.  Thank you to everyone who prayed (and continue to pray) for us and our Lizzie.  Your love and support over the last 2 years means more than you could ever know.

Here are a few pictures of Lizzie's journey :-)

The Accidental Stay at Home Mom...

So I have a confession for all of you.


Ready??

I didn't want to be a stay at home mom.  Surprised? Yeah. I'm probably just as surprised at the fact that I actually am a stay at home mom now as you are at the fact that I didn't want to be one.

Now I don't have anything against stay at home moms, in fact I admire them, a lot. For a while I just admired them from afar, thinking "I could never do that" so my admiration grew.  But I want to teach and as much as I knew I would love my kids, I couldn't imagine not teaching.  Plus, to be honest I had seen a lot of tired stay at home moms whose lives seemed to only consist of art projects, nap problems and diapers.  It seemed exhausting and kinda boring. (funny how I was working with 2's at the time we had Lizzie so I don't know what I thought I was avoiding....)

So when we got pregnant with Lizzie, I had a plan.  I was going to have Lizzie, take my maternity leave and then go right back to my teaching career.  And then things changed.

(quick side note, a few months before Lizzie was due, we found out that my daycare center was closing.  The company was really awesome and helped all of us relocate to new centers.  I'm not sure how much this contributed to my decision to stay home but I thought I would explain a little so there's no confusion when reading this next part :-) )

A few weeks into my maternity leave my new director e-mailed me and asked when I would be coming to work for them and what position and hours I wanted to work.  She also asked if I was sure I wanted to come back to work (not because she didn't want me to come but she understood that sometimes after you have a baby your mind can change about coming back to work.) and to be honest, I wasn't. I couldn't believe it...

Now to be fair, Lizzie had a considerable amount of stuff going on at the time (I'll share more later) and it was really hard to think of leaving her.  But I decided to still go back to work but only part time.  I told her and myself that it was because we had AMAZING friends who would watch Lizzie 3 days a week and then I had the other 2 days off.  But I was working 3 10 hour days, closing (so leaving at 6) and driving home to Crystal Lake (and hour to and hour and a half trip).

After a few months I was tired and frustrated and sad.  I wasn't enjoying my job any more because I was both frustrated with the situation and I sub-consciously wanted to be home with my baby girl.  And those 2 things fed off each other until I just couldn't handle it.  So we looked at our finances and found that if we were careful we could afford for me to stay home.  My awesome husband told me it was my choice and whatever I wanted/needed to do we would make work (that's right, he's amazing- be jealous.. just kidding...)

So I put in a month's notice and now my life is completely different and I wouldn't change it for anything. I still want to teach, someday, but now the thought of leaving Lizzie and the thought of not having the same experience with all our kids make me sad.  So for right now my job is being mommy.  The pay is awful and my boss is a hot mess sometimes but it really is the most rewarding job I've ever held.  No matter how many children's lives I have affected or will affect will ever equal the impact I can have on my own children.  They are the ones who need me most and and the children I need the most.