What I did Right Today

So today was the pits.  Seriously bad (minus dinner with friends and our new bed FINALLY getting here).  Bug woke up at 3 am, Bean had trouble listening, both girls had colds and neither girl took a nap, and on and on.  Add to all that the fact that I'm not feeling well and let's just say my patience was thin- and that's being generous.

After getting home from dinner at our friend's house and putting the girls to bed I decided to take a bath- yeah the day was that bad... As I sat there I started to reflect on my day all my regrets started to surface.  The times I snapped, the times I said "not right now" and the more I thought the worse I felt about how I'm doing as a mom.  Then another, different kind of thought came into my head.  It was almost like hearing a voice.  "What did I do RIGHT today?" And it stopped my self loathing dead in its tracks.  

So many times after the girls go to bed I review everything I did "wrong" that day, end up not liking myself very much and go to bed promising myself that I'll do better tomorrow.  But then morning comes and someone screams about, well, anything, someone is sick or something breaks.  I lose my temper and I feel guilty for failing so early in the day despite my promise to be "better".  This thinking taints my day and a lot of times sends it into a downward spiral.  Isn't there a better way?

I think so.  Tonight after I stopped thinking about the things I did wrong and focused on the things I did right I started to forget those things I did "wrong" and started to feel uplifted.  They weren't huge things- remember how I said today went? But they were good nonetheless.  Things like  "I fed the girls lunch- which even included fruits and veggies", or "I hugged and kissed both my girls more than once today" and when we went for dinner our girls were well behaved (at least I think so ;-) ).  How many kids don't get good meals regularly, or don't get any hugs or kisses, or  how many times do we think what we're trying to instill in our kids is falling on deaf ears? 

Sometimes trying to find the good things in your day is hard.  With the devil whispering in your ear, reminding you of all the times you've failed and the guilt consuming you, its hard.  But I challenge you to think of the good things you did today.  Even if its just one. Even if its simple. I think it will change the course of your thinking and give you a better outlook on tomorrow.  It worked for me tonight and the crazy thing is I can't wait until tomorrow night to look back on my day and search for the things I did right.  It encourages me to work hard to make that list long and gives me hope that no matter what comes tomorrow I will choose to find the good in the day rather than wallow in the guilt over what I've done wrong.  So I ask you, what did you do right today? 

Make love the final move

So when I started blogging again I renamed the blog "Love Has the Final Move".  I love this song, it gives me hope that some day love will have the final move, someday the pain of this world will end. Tonight however, I heard the song again and combined with the day I had and the place I'm at in my book that I'm reading (Intentional Parenting) I had another thought.  Some time we need to make love our final move.  

"What kind of story are you living in front of your children?"

This question has been following me around for the last few days. Its one of the thought provoking/ discussion/journaling questions in the first chapter of Intentional Parenting.  I know the answer.  That's not why its following me around, nagging at me, popping up when I don't want to be reminded of it.  Its because it seems to come up most often when I'm not living the story I want to live in front of the girls.  

To me the most important thing to teach our children is love.  I believe that love is the very core of who God is, and if we don't teach our children that we miss something huge.  But so many times I FAIL at living a story of love in front of our girls.

Let's be honest parents, how easy is it to lose our tempers with our children? I mean really, who likes to mop up pee off the bathroom floor everyday (or twice a day or sometimes even three times...) or wake up at 3 am to a screaming baby? But its what we do in those moments that teaches our children the most.  Ezekiel 20: 21-22 says " I seriously considered dumping my anger out on them, right there in the desert.  But I thought better of it and acted out of who I was a not by what I felt. (MSG) 

Now, please excuse my oversimplification and basic knowledge of the Israelites and their relationship with God but here it goes... If anyone "deserved" for God's anger to be dumped out on them, it was the Israelites.  They were God's chosen people.  He saved them, protected them, blessed them and STILL they turned from Him.  And yet God chose NOT to dump His anger on them, because it was not who He is.  He goes on to say that he chose not  to dump out His anger so that His name not be 

So many times we feel justified in our anger.  Sometimes people hurt us, are cruel and unfair or simply frustrating.  These things will happen, its not a matter of if, but when, and the really question is how will you respond? Will you respond out of how you feel or who you are?  I challenge you to make love your choice. When you're angry or frustrated or stressed, choose to live out a story of love.  Make love your final move.