Leave the Rest

   

So the last few days have been stressville here in the Trotter household.  Its open enrollment for for insurance and we've been looking into a new health plan but its not working out the way we wanted. Basically, we're having trouble finding a company/plan that will cover Bean's MRIs.  I've run so many scenarios and and spent lots of time on the phone and tried desperately to patch together some kind of a plan.  I've done the best that I can but I'm worried that it might not be enough.  So what do you do after you've done your best and still can't fix the problem?

After a couple days of panicking and trying to plan, researching and scheming I was basically at my wit's end.  Nothing I could think of would guarantee coverage for these tests and then a weird thing started happening.  I started to hear God's voice telling me to trust.

At first I tried to brush it off, telling myself that  I was doing what was right by doing everything I could to get the coverage we need.  But then after a message at church about being thankful for what we have- even when those things are hard, I started listening to that voice.  It doesn't mean that we're thankful that the MRI costs that much and we can't get it covered.  Instead we should be thankful that our little girl can even get an MRI that helps maintain her condition.  So many other children can't even see a regular pediatrician, and our girl has regular, routine care to monitor something that a lot of children in this world don't even have time to consider since their concerns are more basic.  

Does this mean that  I let this all go? Throw up my hands and do nothing, trusting it all to God? Somehow I don't think that's the answer either.  I don' think that God gave us the capacity to think and solve problems for us to just say "I can't figure this out God! You do it!"  I think it needs to be a mixture of using the abilities that God has given us while also trusting Him with the situation.  That means also trusting that He will guide you in your decision making.  Trusting that He has given you the ability to figure some things out and that you can solve problems.  

But it also means knowing when to say " I've done the best that I can, and the rest is up to God".  Even as I write that I realize that this seems to be my struggle in life.  I am a problem solver, sometimes even to the determent of my emotional state.  I want to fix things and if I can't I can't function correctly.  I don't think its wrong to do the best that we can - God doesn't call us to be lumps who sit around expecting Him to do everything for us.  But he does expect us to trust Him as we make our decisions and to trust that He will care for us after we make the best choice that we can- even if the best choice still leaves us uneasy.  

So where are you tonight my friends? Struggling to make a choice? Scared to make a choice, a move in a specific direction? Or have you made a choice and are still uneasy about the outcome?  I pray that God brings you peace.  If you've done the best that you can- with God's guidance- then take a deep breath and rest in Him.